Why do many couples break up while others carry on? When the honeymoon period is over, the excitement and romance has gone it’s easy to find fault with one another. The going can get tough and that’s when arguments increase. We can wonder what has gone wrong and is it down to me.

“I thought you loved me”, that’s what I asked her when she let me down. “I hate you”, that’s what I said to him when he did that! These are the sort of things that are said when a deep bond of trust between people breaks down.

Relationships are so important to us yet it seems many of us find them so difficult. One couple once told me how typically arguments start. She says why don’t you pick your stuff up that you left out last night? He says (voice rising) what about you- look at the mess you left the other day! Keeping score like this is easy to fall into and will drive a wedge between any couple.

I am reminded of some popular Bible verses used at weddings:

Love never gives up, Love cares more for others than for self, it doesn’t fly off the handle and doesn’t keep a record of wrongs. Can God and me be in a relationship in the same way? Just imagine if God kept a record of all the selfish and wrong things we’ve ever done, how on earth could we stand before him? We would need help and that’s why Jesus is said to be the one who saves us. Jesus was sent as an expression of God’s love to erase our record of wrongs. If you want to find out more do read Matthew’s account of Jesus in the Bible. Not keeping score is the first of four pointers to improving communication from a great little book called Lets Stick Together from Care for the Family, written for new parents but helpful for everyone.