Feeling like an outsider can be an uncomfortable experience

Feeling like an outsider can be an uncomfortable experience. Have you ever been in a situation where you couldn’t join in conversation because the people you are with are using words or knowledge you know nothing about? They could be from a different job or background to you. I heard an example of a wedding guest who found themselves sitting on a table full of midwives talking about work. He didn’t have a clue what they were talking about, and this left him feeling awkward. This is not something that just happens in different occupations, it can happen in all sorts of social situations, for example a golf club that’s run by a very unfriendly clique of people.

Why does this happen? Humans appear to be tribal by nature, belonging to the ‘in’ crowd can have a powerful attraction. Years ago, when I started working for BT I had to learn many abbreviations and jargon to do with data and telephony; difficult to get into at first but once I had become familiar with the ‘special’ language I felt accepted and part of the group.

Someone said that “cliques are often made up of weak people who are afraid to be different, and who think that as long as they’re with others who think and act like they do, they won’t have to change”. It may be human nature to try and keep consistency, but exclusive groups often create friction, a bad atmosphere for others, and can lead to backstabbing and bullying behaviour. People aren’t viewed as having their own views but as being ‘on this person’s side’ or ‘in that person’s corner’.

Does it have to be like this? I think Jesus can show us  the way. He always had time for those on the margins of society. He would spend time with those people who others had excluded. In his time one of the most ridiculed and excluded groups in society were those who collected tax for the Roman occupying force. So called respectable people would avoid even touching one of them. So, you can imagine the furore when Jesus decided to join a group of these tax collectors for a meal! Jesus wanted to show a different way and set an example for us of how to live. Jesus wanted us to accept one another and spoke about not judging others, “Do not judge, and you will not be judged, why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?”

Could Jesus help you? Whatever your situation and whatever barriers you’ve experienced when people have excluded you, Jesus is the one to turn to.