Rejected in love

Have you ever been rejected in love? Most of us have. One survey estimated 95% of us will have experienced some form of unrequited love by the age of 20.

I remember how devastated I was when the girl I’d set my heart on at school made it very clear publicly how much she disliked me. Do you still remember your first painful experience of love? Those early experiences can leave their mark and even set a pattern for later life. Of course, unrequited love happens when we’re older too, especially in our modern world of online dating when misleading profiles can create matches that are incompatible.  

Sadly, some people have a series of damaging one-sided relationships. If this is you, don’t ignore the warning signs. When you desire deeper connection, watch out if they keep their distance. If you feel like you’re doing most of the work to keep in touch and meet up, beware; especially if they take forever reply to messages, or when you invite them out let you down at the last minute!  

Giving love with no return is heart-breaking, our self-esteem can suffer, and we can think we’re unlovable. This can drive us to keep trying with our love interest long after we should have thrown in the towel. If you recognise any of this in yourself, have you ever wondered if you really understand what love is? The Bible can help us, in it we read “we can know what real love is because Jesus gave up his life for us (1 John 3:16).

No matter how good a romantic partner is they can never meet all our needs and romance isn’t the only way love is found. Only God can meet our deepest longings. His love is unconditional, about giving, acceptance and not keeping a record of wrongs. God works his love in us as we pray, read the Bible and significantly through others. I heard of a woman who said being befriended by Christians was the first time she’d found people who showed her what true love was. That could be you.